new persective, new eye, new gallery. enjoy

messed around a little taking pictures...nothing special....posted them out of bordom since i haven't submitted anything in a long time---just ignore them they're pretty much a poor excuse for photography lol

i hadn't been writing much lately...nothing but the off hand class paper. haven't had a word that would stick to the page. the itch to write is deep, a hunger that aches in my heart but can't be quenched. i'm starving. every word sounds wrong and every sentence is aimless. like losing a lover however weird that may sound. but i came here...hadn't come here in awhile...and saw the photos. each had a story i realized, a silent chapter of a tale untold. photo after photo, words came seeming to thread themselves into a voice i once knew. i had forgotten.......forgotten the pure, raw inspiration i got from your photos. had forgotten the simplistic serenity of soaking in these droplets of inovated insight and remembering the way to my own. i had forgotten.....but i don't want to forget again.

dreams are the wasteland of wishes time has eroded until forgotten. Yet these pervasive ghost flicker in the back of our meloncholy minds, fuzzily contained like a chilhood memory. We look in on them with a defeated sigh, detached from the magic they once held. Locked away in the dark corners of regret, we look on their paling faces a mirror of our own with a defeated sigh threatening the sting of tears behind our eyes, and slowly close the door as if putting a child to bed.

last year around this time, my writing became an ocean within which i was drowning. i've wanted to be a writer for as long as i can remember, even before i knew how to write. it feels like its apart of me; stitched within my heart, embedded within my soul. yet even though writing has been the only dream entwined within my head, it has also been one of my deepest tormentors. each story was a failure in my eyes, each word jagged and lost... to fail at what u love can rip a person apart. to see and feel it all around u like the mist carried in upon the winds, yet being unable to grasp it. u claw and flail snatching at the air and getting only thus until u're calapsed upon the sand deafted and broken. i couldn't fight anymore...i just needed to know. so last year at this time, i entered a writing contest through my school. as the ceremony neared i was not afraid and moved through the days easily. but when that night came and i was sitting with a tremble on the hard bleacher, i knew this was it. i decided right there, if i won nothing...i was done. ur suppost to fight for what u love i know, but the self-doubt became parasitic within my heart, plaguing every breath, breaking me down failure after failure until i just couldn't. but i sat there entirly in the judges hands, hallow. i floated out of the gym that night with two golds and a silver. i never felt more like i was exactly where i was suppost to be, exactly who i was suppost to be, in my whole life. but the contest nears once more and i'm drowning once again. what will others expect of me? what will i expect of myself? i feed off the validation i get from others however much i try to deny it. if i don't make it this time, i don't know what will happen....and that scares me....